Greetings from North Carolina! I am at my first ever retreat. It's called ‘The Writers who Run Retreat.’ Each morning I'm here, I run around the stunning and swan-filled Lake Junaluska. Later I attend writing workshops and spend time each day writing.
I love to write. I love it when words flow, they are like ripples catching the sun until the whole lake sparkles. What I don't love is the jarring interruptions of my inner dialogue. It’s a persistent voice that questions the worthiness of each word, the perfection of each phrase. I long to surf the flow but my inner critic is intent on drowning me each time I attempt to stand.
I've heard perfectionism is the fear of making a mistake. I made perfection my goal as a small girl. I had the childish belief that perfection was reasonable and achievable. I made the naïve assumption that I had to earn my space in the world. Mistakes are high stakes when just one could prove your unworthiness. The more fear behind your perfectionism, the more you must pretend to be perfect. Behind my mask I too am an imperfect human, and one mistake could expose my fraud.
Yesterday in a writing workshop my instructor said, "you will be a better writer because of your imperfections, not in spite of them." This struck an impressive chord on my internal truth-o-meter. It makes so much sense to me: I don't want to read perfect prose, I want to read authentic words. I want to hear an author's unique voice especially when it’s messy.
So... If this is true for writers, just maybe it’s true for everyone. Perfect is robotic soldiers marching in straight lines. No variations. Perfect is not unique. Perfect is boring. There is value in your imperfections. There is so much beauty in the in between places where you try and fail and slip outside of the lines.
Another of my instructors said, “don’t let perfection be the thing that stops you.”
Make mistakes. Be imperfect. The world needs more of you being you and me being me. It’s scary to let your authentic and mistake-making self out of the box.
Imagine the sparkly world we would have if everyone spread their own shade of glitter! Your imperfections are a major part of what makes you unique and beautiful.
The world needs the real you and there is no mistake about that!
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